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In May 2008, I was talking with my friend, Cookie, about an idea that I've had for a while. It seems to me that in today's society, many things are accepted as normal behavior. For example, when people are "dating" that typically means there is an intimate, sexual relationship. It's not easy, especially after being married, to live a pure life. And PLEASE don't think I'm some goodie-two-shoes... it's just my conviction at this point in my life.
I'm just saying that if I were standing face-to-face with Jesus Christ and asking Him if I REALLY loved someone and KNEW that I would marry him someday soon, would it be okay if... Jesus would probably hold His hand up and look deep into my eyes EVEN TODAY and say, "that's what We call 'adultery'."
If we REALLY look at these scriptures, which include a COMMANDMENT, what else can it mean? And I'm not judging anyone... the Holy Spirit has been SERIOUSLY pressing me with this thought.
Anyway, I'm telling Cookie about my idea of having a group at church called "Hold Me Accountable." Cookie says, "HMA!" She was right on board and ready to design a logo! She and I laugh at how alike and different we are; different in THIS case in that she'll want a sparkly, glittery, blingy logo, and I like a more tailored and sleek style. Summary: She's flashy and I'm boring. You watch... she'll even have lights on her shirt. You'll see that girl comin'!
I was telling Cookie recently that I wished that we went to church together, and she said, "Well, I guess we can't be twinkies in EVERYTHING!" Cookie loves her church at Henderson Hills Baptist Church in Edmond, I love Crossings Community Church; and we have visited each other's church. Maybe God is wanting us to start our HMA group at BOTH of these churches.
As a divorced woman, sometimes I get a little lonely, but I am so tired of bad choices. So hold me, someone... hold me ACCOUNTABLE! I'm ready to stop dishonoring God with some of the ways that I have "lived".
1 Thessalonians 4:3
God's will is for you to be holy, so stay away from all sexual sin. 4Then each of you will control his own body and live in holiness and honor - 5not in lustful passion like the pagans who do not know God and His ways. 6Never harm or cheat a Christian brother in this matter by violating his wife, for the Lord avenges all such sins, as we have solemnly warned you before. 7God has called us to live holy lives, not impure lives. 8Therefore, anyone who refused to live by these rules is not disobeying human teaching but is rejecting God, who gives His Holy Spirit to you.
I have a unmarried, male friend who is helping me realize several things. First of all, he is the first MAN that I've ever met who is divorced and committed to living a pure life. MANY of my GIRLfriends that I've asked about this don't seem to find this topic to be important... well, I have no doubt that God has sent this man to teach me something or to confirm my convictions to talk about this.
Here are some of his recent words to me:
... I am doing what Proverbs 4:23 tells me "Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life". So I have withdrawn from the dating-relationship pool until further notice from God! I like your "Accountability" page and feel exactly the same way. Sex is out. Sex of any kind. I am saving myself for my future wife. What I so desperately wish I had done the first time. I can't be a virgin again, but I will feel like one....
...For the last few years my prayer was "God please bring my future wife into my life." Around the first of this year (2008), I changed it to "God, let me find all my fulfillment from You alone," and now it's "Change me into a man of God so that I can be the best husband for my future wife. Mold me into your image." Fix me first, God.
I'd like to know how reading the words from this man made you feel. It does several things for me... it makes me want to spend more time corresponding with this man, it makes me want to be more selective and have more friends just like him (male and female), and it makes me feel stronger knowing that I have a Christian brother who supports my convictions (just to name a few.)
AND I find it terribly attractive. (To which he replied it's because "Christ Jesus dwells in me richly! That's my secret.") Did you read about Susan on the "Verbal Abuse" page? How I was so drawn to this pretty lady? Jesus Christ is ATTRACTIVE!!!
As we have corresponded, we recently spoke of some of our vices. I shared with him that I am not reading my Bible enough; for one thing, I've been watching too much television ... his response:
I want to encourage you to turn off that soul killing machine (TV) and replace it with the Word, good Christian encouraging books, and spiritual music. This is what has been transforming my life, Debra. I can't stress enough how important daily bible reading is. If you can't do all of them, make the Word a priority, please, please, please. And not just a few minutes. Spend time with the Lord. Just like any other relationship, it takes time to develop. It is hard work. The world, your mind, and the enemy, will fight you all of the way. But the payoff is enormous. Transform your mind with me, Debra. Transform your mind and you will transform your life!
I've found what works best for me is... in the morning, I read one chapter of Proverbs, five chapters in Psalms, then pray for a few minutes. At lunch, we get one hour. I eat... then read five chapters in the Old Testament, then pray for a few minutes. In the evenings, I read three to five chapters in the New Testament and pray for a while then crawl into bed and listen to Christian music. Most of the time, one of the songs I hear is still in my head the next morning and I will catch myself singing it. This method helps to break up the reading time while helping to keep me focused during the day. It is a sacrifice of time, but what exactly is important? That is what you need to ask yourself. Read Luke 10:38-42 and really think about it.
"TRANSFORM YOUR MIND WITH ME" ... To me, those words in that letter hold so much power and love. No one's ever said that to me. My friend knows that he's finally in a place in his life that honors Christ, he KNOWS he's on a good journey, and he knows that I'm willing and listening, and he loves the opportunity to share Christ. I am so fortunate that our lives have touched. These words from my brother in Christ, sent to encourage me... but there are so many like me who need to hear this; I just have to pass it on. For him to obviously show Christ's love in his interactions with me; his words seem to almost plead for me to realize some things about myself in my Christian walk. Holy God, thank You for my new friend and brother in Christ!
My friend talks about the importance of scripture memorization. I asked him which one's he memorizes, and he said the one's that are impressed on him as he reads the Bible. Again, giving me an example of his interactive relationship with Christ.
Someday, when the time is right, maybe you may know more about my friend. I've asked him to pray about sharing with you on my website; he has a tremendous testimony.
God knows that I don't need another "boyfriend" in my life. As my friend said, "Fix me first, God!" I'm not even going to waste my time thinking outside of friendships at this point in my life. And "fixing me" will take more than a prayer; I'm pretty head-strong and it will take some work to change my bad habits.
My son, Luke, talks about "Accountability Buddies" in his nutrition and exercise. I know that God has sent me a new spiritual Accountability Buddy to HOLD ME ACCOUNTABLE in my single life!!!
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