Why is this "for the black and blue?" Because that's how many people feel inside from past hurts. Many people outwardly cope and appear happy, but inwardly they privately struggle with painful memories; a part of them feels "beaten." My hope is that these stories may bring some comfort to people who have difficulty speaking about their pain.
Silent voices... this website is full of them. Stories have been shared with me from friends and acquaintances who have lived many years with untold secrets. Some were hurt verbally, some physically, some were hurt in every way possible. There have been some unspeakable past events privately shared with me to be included in this website to bring healing. Many are shared anonymously, but each story is real.
Some stories are not secrets, but are such that need more attention and are told to bring more awareness to the problem.
But ultimately, this website is to bring encouragement. Look for notes from "encouragers"; people who have been through many trials and can tell you how they cope.
There are some injuries that only God can heal, so let us join our hearts in prayer for God's comfort to reach so many who are suffering; for those who do not or cannot speak up...
Special necklaces from an encourager...
I am Debra Holloway and I'm a singer/songwriter. I am not an experienced website builder, or an accomplished guitarist, nor do I have extensive finances for recording my songs, but this website expresses my passion to help bring healing to circumstances that many people (and churches) avoid discussing. My goal with this website is to share how people that I know and love have been through the worst of days and have and are healing and recovering through the awesome love of Christ.
Speaking of churches, I love my church and I describe myself as a nondenominational type believer. I am a member of Crossings Community Church (www.crossingsokc.org) in Oklahoma City, OK, but I have most recently been attending the First Baptist Church of Crutcho with my friend, Beverly, who has been recovering from cancer.
I am also very proud of my heritage as a member of the Citizen Potawatomi Nation (www.potawatomi.org). I love remembering our ancestors who were wise enough to provide for future generations during their time of turmoil. I feel like they basically "out-smarted" those who were trying to strip them of everything. And I'm related to these strong, wise people!! How wonderful to have this beautiful song in our native language:
AMAZING GRACE
(Click here to play this song in English & Potawatomi.)
Nos - Ksam - ni - to kim - za - wan - ma,
Gwis - son ki min - go - non;
Ki - mik - wan - ma a - ti - mak - si - yan,
Kos - non kta - ban - go - min.
I have written country songs, love songs, and gospel songs since 9th grade. Beginning approximately 2002, my songs began to focus on abuse prevention. In March 2004, I sang "Daddy's Girl" to a Sunday morning congregation at Grace United Methodist Church (www.okcgrace.org) in Oklahoma City. The next day, I emailed Janet Boone (who was the music minister at the time) regarding her feedback, and the following is an excerpt from her reply:
March 8, 2004
Yesterday was amazing. The realities about life are scary to talk or think about. Made even more so because we DON'T talk about them. If we would talk about it, some of the power those scary things hold over us would dissipate. And it IS prophetic to tell the truth, to speak the realities... and to do it with hope and grace. I'm excited to see where all that leads you.
At our children's council meeting yesterday evening, the women were talking about how wonderful it was... and how it was easier to hear your voice telling the story of truth. Hmmmmm. Let that settle in your soul for a while.
You have a tender and compassionate heart. That is why the stories affect you so. It is why others are able to hear you tell the stories. In XXX's story (and I've known lots of XXXs and lots of little sisters), there are so many emotions that go with being victimized by someone who was supposed to love us and care for us. But there is also the anger and horrific realization that someone who was supposed to protect us (the mother) didn't... wouldn't... and still doesn't... won't. That is its own kind of abandonment. In that abandonment and victimization, the voice is lost. There is no one to hear the story, the truth... because if those closest don't/won't, then who will? Your ministry could be a part of advocacy... giving voice for those who have had their voice silenced until they can find their own voice again to tell their own story.
There are probably so many reasons that our spirits are kindred. One is becoming clear to me... justice issues...
Janet
XXX represents the woman for which "Daddy's Girl" is written (Incest page.) |
On October 5, 2003, Crossings Community Church pastor, Marty Grubbs, spoke about praying to God. It was a wonderful message about having the right attitude and beginning prayer with worship, but I remember Marty emphasizing that God is "our" Father, and he asked the entire church to hold hands during prayer. There are times when I am so touched by an experience, that God turns my thoughts into a song... from this sermon came "Bottom Line."
BOTTOM LINE http://www.youtube.com/user/songzinmyheart
Click here to play this song. Or hear a newer recording on youtube.
(Jesus praying in the garden of Gethsemane:)
Father, I'm only thirty-three
I've worked three years in ministry
I could do more, if You could see a way to change Your mind
Father, I'm so scared
Tomorrow's not far enough away
Let this cup pass from Me
Is there not another way?
Nevertheless, bottom line, I want Your will over Mine
If this is what You want
If this is what must be
Father, nail Me to that tree!
(My prayer:)
What if instead our Savior ran?
Fearing to carry out God's plan?
What if the strength He had that day was just as weak as mine?
Oh, Jesus, how I thank You for what You did that day!
I long to be just like You, and bold enough to pray...
Nevertheless, bottom line, I want Your will over mine
Show me what You want
Tell me what must be
Father, nail me to that tree!
Copyright PAu3-024-491/01-27-06/From The Heart (collective work)
I mention my church life because it's so important to me and my healing. Whatever has gone on in my life has molded me into someone who recognizes pain in others... and it is healing to me to see when I'm helping someone else.
Many people are silently hurting and would find comfort in knowing that they are not alone. This website contains songs and poems that I have written from stories that have touched my life. While I am not an incest victim; I sing passionately about this subject. Some are my own experiences; some are my interpretation of someone else's story.
Like everyone, I do have problems. I've done many things in my past to surprise and disappoint myself and those who love me... what has been in me to sometimes drive myself to self-destruction? I am taking steps to address my own issues; and I am focusing on reaching out to help others with their struggles as well. I don't have all the answers as to why bad things have happened, but I do know that God is waiting to clean up any and all messes that we can bring to Him; whether by our own hand or another's... God is our answer for today forward. Let's allow His grace into our lives... it all begins with a personal relationship with our Lord and Savior.
You are not alone. Prayer is a powerful beginning to beautiful healing.
Hebrews 10:24
And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works.
Please feel free to contact me at:
djholloway3@yahoo.com
or
Debra Holloway
P.O. Box 2076
Oklahoma City, OK 73101-2076
Also, http://www.myspace.com/debraholloway is available to hear my music should it not play from this website or to post your comments.
Credits
Amazing Grace: Recorded by Jerry Alexander.
Bottom Line: One recording is by Jerry Alexander, and the other is by L.G. Hamilton.
To my optometrist, thank you for making sure that I heard what you were telling me - - that we've got to have a relationship with Christ. You really opened my eyes with that conversation!
